Oh, No. Return of the Sith…Err, Stormtrooper

Do you think by talking about someone that you can conjure them up? Nah, me neither, but it sure is curious how just last night, my friend asked me if I had talked to “stormtrooper” lately, to which I replied, “no, thank goodness.” And low and behold, who do I get a call from today on my way home from work? Yep, stormtrooper. (If you could see my eyes right now, they just rolled. If you could see my lips right now, they just grimaced)

For those unaware or have forgotten, stormtrooper (ST from here on out) is a guy that’s a coworker of an acquaintance of mine. I met him about a year ago at a party and he’s been bugging me for a date ever since. I have no interest in dating him for several reasons, most of which is that he’s totally into Star Wars – to the point of dressing up as a stormtrooper and traveling around the U.S. to conventions. That’s SO not my thing. And SUCH a turn-off for me. He thankfully drops out of my life for months and months, and then someone invites him to a party or event that I get invited to, and it starts all over again. The last time he asked me out a few months back, he sent a dozen red roses to me at my office. Not sure when he’ll ever get that “no, thank you” will never turn into a “yes.” Anyway, my acquaintance sent out an evite to a bunch of people, including him. I guess him seeing me on the evite as well triggered the stalker-esque behavior again because he called me tonight at 6:42pm, 7:12pm, and 7:55pm. Here’s how those conversations went:

6:42pm
(unknown number shows up on my cell phone on my drive home from work)
Me – “Hello?”
ST – “Hey, it’s K…. Just wanted to call and let you know I’ll be seeing you at Screen on the Green and I can’t wait to see you again!”
Me – “Oh, you are? (nervous laughter) Well it should be fun.”
ST - “Yes, and I finally got a job. Does that mean there’s hope for me and you and our future together?”
Me – “Ohhh (more nervous laughter) I don’t think so. But congratulations on finding a job!” Beep beep (thank goodness – call waiting!!) “Can you hang on a minute, that’s my other line.”
I click over, it’s my friend so I tell her to hang on, and click back over to ST.
Me – “Hey, can I let you go? I need to take this call.”
ST – “Ok, but you should call me sometime and we’ll go out.”
Me – “Bye!”

7:12pm
Recognize the number this time and don’t pick up.
Voicemail – “Hey again. Sorry to bother you again, I know you’re probably on the other line, but I wanted to see if I could buy you dinner tonight or something. Give me a call as soon as you get this message. Talk to you later!”
My thoughts – NO WAY. First of all, I’m not saying yes to a date with you, but even if I were to consider it (which, again, I’m NOT), you’re definitely not attractive enough to get a date the same night you ask. Sorry dude.

7:55pm
Recognize the number. Roll my eyes and grumble. Again, don’t pick up. What is wrong with this guy?
Voicemail – “Hey, it’s me again. I know this is like the third time I’ve called tonight, but since I haven’t heard back, it doesn’t look like we’ll be having dinner together so I just wanted to say that I look forward to seeing you tomorrow instead. Have a good night.”

As it turns out, the group of people I was going to Screen on the Green with have backed out, so I’m going with another group of friends instead. So, the good news is, I DON’T have to see him!! Maybe he’ll go back to his planet, find a nice Jedi to settle down with, and leave me alone. Seriously, he’s like a “whack-a-mole.” Just when you think you’ve knocked him down, he pops up somewhere else!