Dear Debbie Siebers,
While I must admit you have put together one heckuva thigh workout on DVD filled with squats and plies (plee-a's), I really feel that your legal department had a big miss when writing the DVD's disclaimer. Might I suggest adding the following disclaimer for all to read before we begin the workout?
Warning:
Do not begin this workout if you wish to perform the following normal activities: walking, sitting from a standing position, standing from a sitting position, ascending stairs, descending stairs, getting into the bed, getting out of the bed, or even have thoughts of using your legs. You may expect to be in immense pain or potentially even bed-ridden (assuming you can get in the bed) for a minimum of two days, and you may never get full use of your legs ever again. You will also need to invest in a Sam's Club box of pain-killers because you will be eating them as if they were candy. As always please consult a physician before beginning this or any other exercise program. Have a phone handy and be prepared to call 911 shortly after finishing this DVD.
I definitely would have reconsidered had I read a disclaimer like that prior to beginning.
Alotta pain in Atlanta,
Kara
Dear strange bad guy in my nightmare for the past 2 nights,
If you even think about breaking into my house while I'm in the shower and hurting me, I will beat you with my shampoo bottle, tie you up with my body wash poof, and slowly pull out every hair in your eyebrows with my tweezers.
I wouldn't test me mister,
Kara
PS - This goes for any further appearance you may have while I'm asleep as well. I dare you to come back tonight...
Dear Darby (my dog),
While I realize you are of the male species, and by that you have an innate attraction for lingerie, please allow me outline the following expectations that I have for you. When I've placed clean laundry on top of my dresser, I expect you to leave it alone while I'm at work. I do not expect you to grab a strap that may be hanging from the top of the dresser, pull it down, and joyfully chew a hole into it. If you were contributing towards purchasing new lingerie, it wouldn't be as big of a deal, but you're not even paying rent, so LEAVE IT A-LONE.
Love,
Kara
2 comments:
I think you should cut Darby some slack. I mean his name is Darby? How did you come up with that shit?
Bet that is one gay ass dog! LMAO!!
Darby...
Sounds like one bad nightmare you are having too. Seen a guy that freaked you out at work or in your neighborhood lately? Seen any stalking movies? Lots of times these things get into our dreams. I only have 6hrs of psych classes though, but I think I can help. Call me ;)
Dear Darby (the dog),
While I will agree that you have done a fabulous job of the no-shoe chewing, no pooping and no-peeing (thank you SO much), and the no-crotch-sniffing (however you come uncomfortably close when you try to lick the water off my thigh when I step out of the shower), you have slipped up with the no-window-blinds-chewing, and now the lingerie. I don't want to hear any complaints about the food, as you know, you are most certainly spoiled with gourmet dry food at your whim 24/7 along with wet food in the morning when I get up and evenings when I get home. Furthermore, I spend more on your treats (chicken jerky and Greenies) than I do on my own. While I adore the attention you lavish on my when I get home from work, the sweaters ARE staying. At least just the Christmas one...you look so cute!
Love,
Kara
By the way, I chose Darby as a tie to the Univ. of Alabama. He's one of our players.
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