Let Me Treat You To Taco Bell

I'm sure you've all seen it in one form or fashion - the commercial of the girl paying for the guy's dry-cleaning, or the guy that pays the toll for the guy behind him. Well, I did it too. I was feeling generous, spry if you will, so when I was in the drive-thru at Taco Bell last night, I paid for the food that the guy behind me ordered and then I just drove off. Yep. Didn't do it because I thought he was cute, I did it out of the kindness of my heart. Felt like making his night. Gave him a story he'd talk about for weeks. Cliche these days? Maybe. But it was fun. You should try it - just make sure I'm behind you when you do so I get paid back for my good deed.

If You're a "Crazy" I'm Sure You'll Find Me

So I know you've all heard me complain before about being a freak magnet. Here's more evidence to back up my claim:

Monday nights have been poker nights lately. It all started after my trip to Vegas, and now I'm playing Texas Hold'em every Monday at a local bar. Usually the same crowd shows up: Ed, who's about 65 but looks 95; John, who's 21, Asian, and has a mohawk; Stuart, one of my friends who got us started with the poker crowd; Dana, one of my good girl friends that I drink wine and laugh uncontrollably with; Clifford, an older guy with some sort of accent ("he ain't from around here" :-P); Ryan, a late 20s guy that my friend Dana has a crush on (he went to Auburn, bless his heart); Brent, a quiet, painter guy in his 30s; and me, a super hot girl with a fabulous personality, killer smile, innocent eyes, pouty bottom lip, and very large...brain (ok, maybe I embellished about me a little, but if I don't who will?). Anyway, since my friend Dana has this flirty crush on Ryan, and he has a crush on her, of course those two are in cahoots to "hook me up." The only viable option from their viewpoint is Brent. Of course it is...

Brent came this past Monday night with canvas and paints to paint the poker scene. He's talented, and I enjoy painting, so Dana and Ryan made sure that he and I started talking. The more I talked to him, the more he revealed about himself. Turns out that Brent paints as part of his psychiatric "therapy." Yep ladies and gentlemen, he's a crazy. Self-admitted, his words - not mine. During our conversation, here are a few red flags that I discover, immediately ruling him out of any possiblity of being dating potential for me:

1) His paintings mostly deal with what it's like to have a mental illness.
2) He doesn't paint that often because the meds he takes make him sleep a lot.
3) If he didn't take his meds, he'd be "a loose cannon" to quote him.
4) He doesn't work, rather draws disability from the government.
5) He isn't allowed to drive, therefore doesn't own a car and either walks everywhere (to the bar for poker night) or has friends take him where he needs to go.

So I'm talking to Brent and finding out all about his illness and the more I learn, the more I want to run. But I can't, that would be rude. I'm trapped. So I start to strategize in my head when a good time would be for me to back out of the conversation without him knowing I was heading for the hills in retreat mode. I laugh at his joke, but then worry if the laughter came across as genuine. I try to gauge how long I have to continue with the conversation to be polite. I then start to think that if/when I back away, do I have to return before I leave so he doesn't think I'm ignoring him after he told me he was a "crazy". But then I start to second guess that thought. Of course, I wouldn't want him to think I do have an interest in him other then friends, and if I make a stop back by to say good bye before we leave, will he take that the wrong way? All of these decisions are racing through my head, and it's a very fine line to walk when you want to be polite and friendly, but not come across as flirtatious and interested.

Now, please don't get me wrong here. I was a psychology major in college, so that being my field of study, I do have a certain understanding and/or empathy for those with psychological concerns. All of the anonymous people that at this point want to chew me out for my insenstivity to the subject at hand just back off. However, when it comes to my dating life, husband potential and father of my children, a "crazy" IS NOT, and let me repeat to be very clear, IS NOT even on the "to be considered" list, no matter how desperate my single situation should ever become. Which would explain my distinctive glare followed by an eye roll at both Dana and Ryan when they lean over to ask, "so, have we made a love connection?"

"Make it Madras"?

Dear Old Navy,

Saw your new commercial a few times tonight during American Idol and you can call it what you want, but really, at the end of the day, it's "plaid". Nice try though.

Yours in "tartan",
Kara

Let's Dance!

Put on your red shoes and dance the blues (be sure to have volume up)

I've got a million things swirling around my head but can't seem to get any of them organized enough to write. My blog's become very boring.

Hope

Just when I was about to run out of hope completely, a friend comes along and makes me think that it is possible. Hope is restored, and I'm still hanging.

Hi, I'm Sugar Heavenhooter (said with a southern accent) Who Are You?

Follow the instructions to find your new stripper name. C'mon, you know you want to. It's just for fun so stop blushing... Once you have your new name, put it in the comments lounge for everyone to laugh
1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = Fantasia
b = Chesty
c = Starr
d = Diamond
e = Montana
f = Angel
g = Sugar
h = Mimi
i = Lola
j =Kitty
k = Roxie
l = Dallas
m = Princess
n = Heidi
o = Bambi
p = Bunny
q = Brandy
r = Sugar
s = Candy
t = Raquelle
u = Sapphire
v = Cinnamon
w = Blaze
x = Trixie
y = Isis
z = Jade

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = Leather
b = Dream
c = Sunny
d = Deep
e = Heaven
f = Tight
g = Shimmer
h = Velvet
i = Lusty
j = Harley
k = Passion
l = Dazzle
m = Dixon
n = Spank
o = Glitter
p = Razor
q = Meadow
r = Glitz
s = Sparkle
t = Sweet
u = Silver
v = Tickle
w = Cherry
x = Hard
y = Night
z = Amber

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = hooter
b = horn
c = tower
d = fire
e = thighs
f = hips
g = side
h = jugs
i = shock
j = cocker
k = brook
l = tush
m = sizzle
n = ridge
o = kiss
p = bomb
q = cream
r = thong
s = heat
t = whip
u = cheeks
v = rock
w = hiney
x = button
y = lick
z = juice

Wayne Newton, Here I Come!

I'm heading out

with several friends for a few days. First trip there, and I'm SUPER excited! Six of my friends and I got a great, cheap deal to stay at the Monte Carlo, but I have a feeling I won't be spending too much time in my hotel, rather acting like a 19 year old again pulling all-nighters. I'm sure my body will start to protest by Friday morning, and I may very well need a liver transplant when I get back. I'm A positive if anyone would like to donate to a worthy cause upon my return. If I strike it rich, it's been real guys, but I won't be back. If I get married, please let it be by Elvis or Marilyn.

I get back at 5am Sunday morning, so I will try to post once I recover, which will most likely be sometime in the first two weeks of July.

Trouble in Paradise

This guy found my blog after looking up this search:

can+i+trust+my+wife+after+i+catch+her+cheating+
she+said+that+want+to+stay+with+me

Not sure how my blog is linked with that search, but in the event he hasn't found the answer to his question, I'm going to go ahead and answer:

No.