Suspect: Bea A. Emmay; AKA Kara
Date of Incident: 11-12-05 (Alabama vs. LSU game)
Charged with: Crushing on David; 1st Degree
Charged with: Concealment of Love for LSU
Charged with: Betting; 3 Counts
1)Picture with sign
2)Post about crush on David
3)Post about being closet LSU fan
Charged with: Bad Mugshot Photography; 4 Counts
1)Attempting picture alone on a timer
2)Chopped off head
3)Blurry focus
4)"Deer in headlights" eyes
Plea: Guilty, All Charges
Suspect's Statement and Sworn Testimony:
It's plain and simple. I'm guilty and I don't care who knows. I leauxve David. Using one of his own words, he's "HAWT." I have had a crush on David since the first time his precious words showed up in my comments section. Reading his blog in return, and how funny he is, only solidified my passion. Since then, the attraction grew. It grew and grew until I couldn't stand to be away from him. So I made up a story about visiting family in the next town over from his hometown, just so I could be close to him. Once he found out that I made that up, he got mad and stopped talking to me. So I just had to find a way to get back to his heart. And I knew it would be through LSU football. So I challenged him with a bet. It was all to gain his attention. Just so he'd talk to me again. My crush: I'll never forget you. And David, if you're out there reading this, just know that I...I have always LOVED LSU football. There, I said it! I feel so free. So alive! I was living a lie this whole time. Do you know how hard it is to live in Tuscaloosa, go to school at Alabama, be in the stands and pretend to cheer for the Tide, when you know your true love, your true passion, is for those purple and gold tigers? It's hard dammit. So. Hard. I want to shout it from he rooftops. GEAUX TIGERS! I've been a closet LSU fan but no more! If Alabama wants to revoke my diploma after this admission, fine! They can have it! I'm liberated!
Signature: Bea A. Emmay (that's long for B.A.M.A.) aka Kara
Date: 11/17/05
3 comments:
WOW! David is a GOD among men. If only he would have asked to see the Pom Poms
*sigh*
David - I fulfilled all of your requirements. You said I had to be smiling in the photo (check), I had to hold a sign that said I love David (check), and that I had to post - non-sarcastically - that I had a crush on you and that I was an LSU fan (check).
DONE.
Wanna bet on the games this weekend? Hee hee hee
Kara,
I thought that was great! I really liked the story, but you did forget to mention that when you came to visit family in Jena, that we met out in the backwoods. Of course I know you can't post all of the things we did, that was posted in the Penthouse forums, September issue. (JUST KIDDING!!!)
Duane - The bet she accepted was my 8th, 9th, and 10th choices. My #1 - #4 picks would have made grown men everywhere smile and go DAAAAYYYYYUUUUMMMMM!!!!!, but she declined that along with several other's before accepting this bet. She knew from the start LSU was going to whip Bama's ass!
Kara if you want to bet on this weekend's games, sure! Email me with the details ;)
Post a Comment