Cube, Sweet Cube

I stole that saying from someone's cube at work that has that on a sign hanging on her wall. You know, the push pin cushy walls that cubes have? The ones that if you go crazy, you don't hurt yourself too much so you get back to work faster. The "padded" walls if you will. Anyway, I thought it was appropriate.

Welcome, internet, into a glimpse into the world I spend more waking hours than I do anywhere else. Welcome to my cube. Come on in, take your shoes off, relax. Hope we all fit. It's small but it's home, I mean, work. Whatever. The line gets blurry sometimes. I'd offer you a drink but the break room's around the corner. Without further adieu, let me show you around.


Now, this below is the main room. And if you look to your right, you'll see my filing cabinet. Why, yes, I did have an interior decorator help me with my filing cabinet decor. It's called "magnet chic".
(Everybody all at once: Oooooooo)















If you look to your left past the main room, you'll see my dry erase board. I know, a dry erase board. It's a splurge, but every career woman needs one.
(Everyone: Ahhhhhh)



And finally, let me show you the more intimate space that I spend most of my days occupying. The little nook where I tend to tense up and pull my hair out. Not many get this kind of tour, so count yourselves lucky. These are the lifesucking landscape views. (Everyone: Ohhhhhhh)

The Break-Up with Kirk

Dear Kirk Herbstreit (ESPN College Gameday Sportscaster, for those unaware of my famous boyfriend),

This is my ‘dear John’ letter to you. We really need to start seeing other people. I feel like our relationship started falling apart when you were in town for the Alabama vs. LSU game. I mean, you acted like you didn’t even KNOW who I was when I was there! You’ve been on the road for months now, I haven’t seen you in forever, and you didn’t even invite me back to the bus for a little action? At first, I was like, “well, he’s working. I’ll give him some space and respect that he’s on the job.” But then I got mad that you ignored me completely. The only way you redeemed yourself was by picking Alabama to win the game that day, even though I was suspicious that you might be cheating on me because you had on a purple shirt* (an LSU color). And, this leads me straight to the final straw that is causing our break up. YOU picked Auburn to win the Alabama vs. Auburn game a few weekends ago! Auburn!?? Our BIGGEST rival?? Baby, c’mon! So maybe your pick turned out to be correct, but I thought we were a team. I thought that it was clear that if you’re going to date me, you need to like Alabama football. And you completely turned against me for that game. I was crushed.

So, I can’t go on. I can’t see you anymore. Please don’t cry. I know you’ll never get over me (I mean, does anyone ever, really?), but you just have to suck it up and try. Maybe you’ll find someone that’ll be a distant 2nd from me that you can try to be happy with. But I want to make it clear, that we are not and will never be together again. No matter how hard or how long you beg. My answer will always be no. You’ve committed the unforgivable. No matter how many dozens of flowers or how many carats of diamonds you buy. The fact of the matter is I’d rather date a jerk than date you.

Have fun snuggling with Lee Corso,
Kara


*Kirk, ignoring me, in his purple shirt at the Bama v. LSU game. Pfft! Good riddance!

Googled

I'm always amazed at the things that people do a search for and end up finding my blog in their search:

- Corrie ten boon (huh??)
- braces and glasses (yep, I had both. now that's hot, isn't it? I bet you want me now...)
- bald guys are hot (no, really, that IS hot)
- corrie ten boon hitches (AGAIN!? What the heck is this anyway??)
- jello wrestling pictures (wait a minute...just wait one minute! Who blabbed about that?? I can explain - I was broke and needed some cash people!)
- ken cook meteorologist (Glenn Burns with Channel 2 Action News is MUCH better. try him instead)

I'm a Thankful Girl

I've got many blessings in my life. Too many to count in fact. And I'm grateful for them all. Some I acquired at birth, others I've picked up along life's path, and some have been more recently acquired blessings. And you know who you are.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Now I'm really late for work. That, I won't be thankful for.

I Wear The Mask

I. hate. conflict. I avoid it like the plague. Most of the time.

But sometimes, I pick fights. I push buttons. I look for reactions. I've always done it.

I do it to appear stronger in order to cover up my weakness. To bury my weakness. Fighting makes me feel stronger than I actually am at that moment. I'm not a weak person, so I can't show signs of weakness, right? What would happen if others knew just how vulnerable I was at that moment? It scares me to be that raw. As much as I hate conflict, sometimes it's just easier to fight than it is to say goodbye. Even if it's just a goodbye for a few hours, for a few weeks, or a lifetime. But the fact of the matter is, sometimes I DO get weak. And I don't want to say goodbye. I childishly try to mask the fact that I might need someone longer than I actually get to be with them.

And so, I wear the mask.


We Wear the Mask
by Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872 - 1906)

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes, —
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

I Think I Just Threw Up in my Mouth a Little

See below post about LSU football.

Dear Bear Bryant,

Please know I was merely fulfilling a stupid bet with that crap that I wrote about LSU below. I've learned a very good lesson: always bet a 6 pack instead of your pride. I hope this doesn't change your willingness to help accept me at the Pearly Gates when it's my time to get to Heaven.

Roll Tide and Amen.
Kara

The Indictment: Suck it Up, Kara

Suspect: Bea A. Emmay; AKA Kara

Date of Incident: 11-12-05 (Alabama vs. LSU game)

Charged with: Crushing on David; 1st Degree
Charged with: Concealment of Love for LSU
Charged with: Betting; 3 Counts
1)Picture with sign
2)Post about crush on David
3)Post about being closet LSU fan
Charged with: Bad Mugshot Photography; 4 Counts
1)Attempting picture alone on a timer
2)Chopped off head
3)Blurry focus
4)"Deer in headlights" eyes

Plea: Guilty, All Charges

Suspect's Statement and Sworn Testimony:
It's plain and simple. I'm guilty and I don't care who knows. I leauxve David. Using one of his own words, he's "HAWT." I have had a crush on David since the first time his precious words showed up in my comments section. Reading his blog in return, and how funny he is, only solidified my passion. Since then, the attraction grew. It grew and grew until I couldn't stand to be away from him. So I made up a story about visiting family in the next town over from his hometown, just so I could be close to him. Once he found out that I made that up, he got mad and stopped talking to me. So I just had to find a way to get back to his heart. And I knew it would be through LSU football. So I challenged him with a bet. It was all to gain his attention. Just so he'd talk to me again. My crush: I'll never forget you. And David, if you're out there reading this, just know that I...I have always LOVED LSU football. There, I said it! I feel so free. So alive! I was living a lie this whole time. Do you know how hard it is to live in Tuscaloosa, go to school at Alabama, be in the stands and pretend to cheer for the Tide, when you know your true love, your true passion, is for those purple and gold tigers? It's hard dammit. So. Hard. I want to shout it from he rooftops. GEAUX TIGERS! I've been a closet LSU fan but no more! If Alabama wants to revoke my diploma after this admission, fine! They can have it! I'm liberated!

Signature: Bea A. Emmay (that's long for B.A.M.A.) aka Kara

Date: 11/17/05

Random Thoughts

1) I'm working on it people. You know, the bet. Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of yourself holding a sign when you live by yourself? And make sure you look good? I know it's hard to imagine me not looking good, I'm such a foxy lady and all (ha), but have patience my people. It's not as easy as you'd think. I've made the sign, I'm just trying to get my picture with it, and my dog, Darby, refuses to hold the camera steady. Worthless mutt. (I'm kidding Darby, I'm kidding...mama loves you, oh yes she does...mama loves you...my sweet little baby boy-ee...)

2) Who decided to put Colorado clear on the other side of the United States? I mean c'mon. McFly? Can't we do like that squeeze play game on the Price is Right and remove all of the states that make up the "chef" guy there in the middle, and then squeeze the country together so Georgia and Colorado are closer? I feel like there could be a good prize if we did. Maybe even an advancement to the showcase showdown, which you have to admit, is always a good time.

3) Ever get distracted by something to the point that it's the only thing you can focus on? I was at lunch today with a coworker, and there was a hair on her chin. I couldn't stop staring at it! I was obsessed. One blonde, tiny hair poking off of her chin. No big deal in the grand scheme of things. But all I wanted to do was get my tweezers out and pluck it. (yes, I realize I should seek professional help)

Mourning the Loss

I'll do your stupid bet, David. Just give me some time to grieve. And figure out how to lie really well.

In overtime:
Alabama 13
LSU 16

My heart's broken.

Finish This...

I got this from an email chain today, and figured it'd be fun to post on my blog. Or maybe not. Regardless, I did. I had to fill in the rest of the sentence after the colon. Feel free to do it yourself if you feel so inclined.

1. My uncle once: was a drum major in the marching band. See, I come by my dorkiness honestly.
2. Never in my life: will I drive a mini-van. Honest to goodness, you can check my car loan records 50 years from now and never once see a mini-van listed. I don't care how many kids I end up with. I'll strap them to the luggage rack of an SUV before I get a mini-van.
3. When I was five: I got in trouble for playing doctor with the neighbor boy, Luke.
4. High School is: surprisingly a fond memory of mine.
5. I once met: Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit, Chris Fowler, and Tony Stewart. I'll give bonus points to the person that figures out the common denomenator between those 4 and me.
6. There's this girl I know who: just wants to love and be loved.
7. Once, at a bar: I poured beer over a bald man's head. But I posted about that already. What else? Ok, got it. My college roomate and I were talking to these guys near a garbage can and this horrible smell of vomit overcame us. So, we moved our conversation with these boys away from the garbage can, only to realize it was one or both of them. Eww.
8. Last night: I talked on the phone for 4 hours to an amazing man. It only felt like 10 minutes.
9. Next time I go to church: I will tithe.
10. When I turn my head left, I see: my framed college diploma - "The University of Alabama has conferred upon Kara ______ the degree of Bachelor of Arts..."
11. When I turn my head right, I see: framed post cards from my travels.
12. How many days until my birthday?: let's see, a ballpark figure might be somewhere around 109 days, 3 hours and 10 minutes. So get to shopping.
13. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: Cinderella. What? She's not a Shakespearean character? Who knew? Ok, fine. Snow White then. Geez, her either? Well what the hell did he write, anyway? With an English Literature minor, you'd think I'd have some idea, wouldn't you?
14. By this time next year: I'll be 109 days, 3 hours, and 10 minutes closer to 30 and starting my Botox treatments. No, seriously, I honestly can't imagine myself that far in advance.
15. A better name for me would be: Karamel
16. I have a hard time understanding: (this probably isn't PC, but it's true) People that speak broken english, otherwise known as foreigners. No, not Foreigner the band. I understand them just fine.
17. If I ever go back to school I'll: get a graduate degree in marketing.
18. You know I like you if: I give you a genuine smile.
19. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: the person that gave me the award.
20. Take my advice: Pink Lemonade Crystal Light and tequila don't go well together going down or coming back up. You may feel like you're going to die. Literally.
21. My ideal breakfast is: coffee with cream and sugar, unless I slept in. Then it's called lunch.
22. If you visit my hometown: you'll fall in love and want to move here. Everyone else did after the '96 Olympics. Now we're overrun with yankees. That's it, I'm moving.
23. Why won't someone: bring back the full-service gas station. I hate pumping my own gas.
24. If you spend the night at my house: bring your own food. My fridge is always empty.
25. I'd stop my wedding if: Stop my wedding? Let's work on a good first date before talking about weddings. I'm obviously a long, long way away from that.
26. The world could do without: green beans.
27. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: the balls of a bull.
28. My favorite blonde is: a highlight applied by a stylist at Bob Steele Salon
29. Paper clips are more useful than: my boss.
30. If I do anything well, it is: worry
31. And by the way: my name's not Carol or Carrie or Karen. It's Kara. It's 4 letters, how hard could it be? Don't add to it to make it more complicated than it is. It's just Kara. Stop at the "a".
32. The last time I was high: I was in a Delta plane, HIGH above the Atlantic, and flying home from Greece. That's what you meant, right? That's the only kind of high I've ever been. Drunk on the other hand...

Keep Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

83,000+ fans in the stands. The excited crowd noise registers on a deafening decibel level. Seconds tick away from the scoreboard game clock, counting down to the main event. The brass starts the first 5 notes of the fight song, slow and lingering. Crimson and white poms-poms shake in frenzied unison like waves over a sea of crimson shirts. The build-up is intense as the next few bars of the song are played, the percussion and brass driving each note hard, pressing each intimidating chord with ferocity. Just as the crowd begins to tremble with anticipation, the Crimson jerseys storm the field. Cartwheels and flips fire off like uncontrollable firecrackers. Oversized flags with the "A" logo wave for mercy at the sweet release. The players sprint and jump in the burst of oozing exhilaration. And this, why this is just the foreplay. Give 'em HELL Alabama!

(Pregame at the Alabama vs. Tennessee game I was at a few weeks ago. Here's my view for the game this weekend, too)

This is a big, BIG football weekend (Whaaat? Oh, don't roll your eyes. You didn't really think you'd make it through a week without having to hear about football, did you?). My beloved number 4 ranked Alabama boys take on the number 5 ranked LSU team. David (his blog is screwy so I'm not going to even waste your time with the link) and I have made our bet (oh dear Lord, please let Alabama win just so I don't have to do what I've agreed to do). I'm in the process of packing my suitcase to head over tomorrow after work, and I'll be in the stands Saturday afternoon at 3:30pm EST to cheer on the Tide. The game will be nationally televised on CBS, but as an added bonus, the men from ESPN's College Gameday will be on campus reporting live. Mmm hmmm, I do love me some Kirk Herbstreit (he's on my top 5, or "laminated" list, if you will). And in keeping with winning tradition, I just hope Lee Corso picks LSU.

ROLL DAMN TIDE!

Psst...Hey Internet...

I've got a secret. Wanna know? Can you keep it? Well, then, come closer. Clooooser. A little closer. Uh, wait, that's TOO close. Not only that, but somebody needs some gum.

She waltzed through the door and carefree, she flopped down on the couch next to her friend, grinning ear to ear.

"Who is he?" Her friend inquired, recognizing the look on her face.

"He's simply wonderful," she replied, unable to relax the corners of her mouth outstretched upwards, full set of teeth showing. "He's smart. He's creative. He's good-looking. He's silly. He's sweet. I think I have a crush."

Keyword Searches

Here are the latest internet searches that turned up my blog:

• Frownie face shirts for sale (interesting, I think my site is anything but frownie)
• wild brunette brawls (what?)
• 1973 penny (well, duh)
• the car 50cent had in window shutters (I bet they were REALLY disappointed when they got my site instead)

A Good Example

I just want to give kudos to Jeremy for being a great example of a wonderful father, and husband. His recent posts about "Ah, The Joys of Parenting" and "The Morning After," both about taking care of his sick son, with a humorous twist, brought a smile to my face. His family is blessed to have him. Y'all should check it out.

The BET

I've heard enough out of David's big fat mouth this week, so it's time to put up and have him shut up. We'll let our teams settle it on the field this Saturday, with a little bet on the side between us. My recommendation on what the bet should be for this weekend's Alabama vs. LSU game:

1) The loser has to learn the words to the winner's fight song and do an audioblog singing it CORRECTLY.
2) The loser has to post 10 things they LOVE about the winner's team (nothing derogatory), complete with a picture from the game uploaded with an "I heart (the winner's team)" drawn on using a photo editing program standard on most computers, and 10 reasons why they love the winner (or why they're not worthy of the winner).
3) The loser has to post a picture of them wearing some article of clothing (hat, shirt, bandana, whatever) with the winner's logo on it.

Sound good? David are you game?

Just Stay

Her side:

“Just go,” she directed, standing indignantly, and startled at the strength of her voice. She tried desperately to hide her surprise, needing her body language to match the already convincing performance. The short words made her sad as the lingering sound resonated in the thick air of silence that followed. The reality couldn’t be further from the words she spoke. The reality was that she just wanted to reach out and hold him forever, or longer if he’d let her. But that’s the very thing that caused her fear. She wasn’t in control, and didn’t know if he’d let her. If he’d even want that. And yet, she was too scared to find out. So with two words, she did the one thing she could control.

Dammit! Why did she push away the very thing she wanted to pull close? The frustration beginning to stir like a raging tornado in her body made her angry, causing tears to well up behind her eyes. Why couldn’t she just give in and trust? Why did she always do this?

“Just go,” she repeated, this time weakness creeping into her voice. The second time sounded more like a plea rather than a directive. She knew she needed him to leave quickly as she felt herself beginning to lose the battle over her heavy tears tugging on her lower eyelids like weights. She looked away because she couldn’t let him see her falter. She couldn’t let him know she really didn’t believe in what was falling off of her tongue. She couldn’t because…he might just stay.

His side:

“Just go,” he heard her say, stunned and confused at the abrupt phrase. A knot grew in his throat and moved down to the pit of his stomach as he digested what was just said. He let the words settle in the air of the silence that followed, not knowing how to respond. He didn’t want to go; he wanted to reach out and hold her forever, longer if she’d let him. But it was apparent in her words and in her demeanor that she was serious. In that moment, she looked as if her mind was made up, and unwavering at that.

Dammit! Why was she pushing him away when all he wanted to do was pull her close? The frustration beginning to stir like a raging tornado in his body obscured his ability to think, his ability to even say anything. It was like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. Why couldn’t she just give in and trust?

“Just go,” he heard again, this time with a hint of uncertainty not apparent the first time she spoke. He searched her eyes for an explanation, and realized they had become glassy with a thin layer of tears. She looked away. In that moment, he knew she was trying to hide it from him, hide the fact that she didn’t mean what she had said. She was trying to be brave, fighting back her tears. He recognized her fear not originally evident. And he decided to just stay.

Playin' Hookey

I had a "migraine" this morning so I stayed home today. Basically, I didn't want to go to work and would rather stay home to clean my house. I would have never thought in a million years that I'd EVER actually want to stay home just to clean my house. This proves two things: 1) I need a new job because I'm obviously burnt out and 2) I'm getting old. What if I'm on the fast path to purchasing moth balls, opaque nude knee highs, and a cat collection!? Somebody help!

I Want To Believe

I’ve seen you look in my eyes
Heard you swear it’s the truth
But your eyes and words
Don’t say a thing about you

Between the sweetness of lies
Is the silence of trust
And I can hardly hear
Above the both of us

Praise be the man who believes what he can
With his head in his hands
When his heart has been broken in two
I wanna believe in you

I’d like to open my mouth
But I see that I’m bent
On a conversational accident

Praise be the man who believes what he can
With his head in his hands
When his heart has been broken in two
I wanna believe in you

I get my finger on the panic button and I’m waiting anxiously
I want to know if who you’re looking at baby
Is the woman that I think I see

Tonight I drink from the cup
That you’ve put to my lips
And in the morning see
If I am poisoned or kissed

I’ve seen you look in my eyes
Heard you swear it’s the truth
But your eyes and words
Don’t say a thing about you

- Cowboy Mouth (it's number 10)

This is my reminder to trust in my future, but be cautious and use my learnings from the past.

And Then There Were Three

Unbeaten teams in college football that is. 9 and 0 baby, Roll Tide Roll!

"Mississippi State running back Jerious Norwood (12) is dropped for a first-quarter loss by Alabama defensive end Mark Anderson (47) in Starkville, Saturday, Nov. 5, 2005. Norwood was held to 39 yards on 18 attempts. The Bulldogs were held to 103 total yards, as they lost to No. 4 Alabama, 17-0."

And now on to some unfinished business with my sweet friend, David. David and I need to create a bet between the two of us for this weekend's Alabama Crimson Tide vs. LSU Kitty Cats game (another game this season where I will be in the stands watching and can't wait). It's a big, big game, and should promise to be a great match up. The stakes are high. Very high. I was thinking a good bet would be that the loser would have to learn the winning team's fight song and do an audioblog singing it. What do you think? David's had a few ideas on what the bet should be too, but for some reason, his bets require less clothing than mine would. I thought it might be nice to get some input from all of you before coming up with the final wager. Ideas anyone? David, you're not skeered are you?

Theme of the Day is 'Stuck'

A) Why would you sit down in a public restroom?
B) Would you not feel it when you did?
C) Give me a freakin' break.