Party’s Over When Somebody Vomits

I tried to post this over the weekend, but when I went to post, it wouldn't post and it didn’t save it. For some reason, I lost it, and then was too lazy to rewrite. So I’m just now trying to re-create what I initially wrote.

One of my coworkers is moving to Arizona, so we all went out for a last hurrah with her this past Friday night. She is a bit on the wild and crazy side, and brings a little of it out in everyone when we hang out. When she and I have hung out, we’ve ended up with a bachelor party of strange guys while in Hilton Head, swimming in a hotel pool to which we were not staying, and busted in on a house party that we were not invited to, nor did we know anyone at the party but pretended we did. I know, sounds a bit like college girls and less like career girls, but I’m telling it like it is. And it’s been fun.

So, about 20 coworkers all head over to a local sports bar after work on Friday and have drinks on the patio. The weather was beautiful and we were all buying her a drink and toasting to her move. After about 2 hours of enjoying the evening, it’s decided that we should all go down the street to the karaoke bar. I had never been to this particular place, and being one of the first ones there, here’s my initial observation: A) The place was small. Very small. It may have been just larger than a port-o-potty with neon beer signs by just a few feet. There was already a large party there, and with us on the way, the place would be packed. B) There was an Elvis. I guess there’s probably one in every karaoke joint. Elvis had a HUGE beer gut and wore a bright orange University of Tennessee shirt along with his gold-rimmed glasses. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised because I don’t think the combination of an Elvis impersonator, beer gut, and a UT t-shirt is uncommon. Those 3 things probably go together like Blue, Suede, and Shoes. C) There was the lingering drunk guy there by himself. The kind with longer, stringy hair and a t-shirt promoting some strip club. Classy place, I’m fully aware. When the rest of my coworkers arrived, he immediately tried to latch onto our group. Um, no. Go stumble back to your bar stool you creepy toad. Anyway, we had a good turnout show up from the previous place, about 13, which is good considering the fall-off rate in losing people is usually high when there’s a change in location. Especially for a coworker kind of thing. Anyway, the beer buckets were ordered and the karaoke began. People got up to sing that I NEVER thought would ever be a karaoke star. We were serenaded with The Humpty Dance, I Will Survive, Copa Cabana, and The Gambler. It was crazy! Halfway through the night, I look to see that I’ve got my ex-boss and a coworker grinding to the music on my left and Elvis and the toad trying to pick up another 2 coworkers on my right. And of course, more drinks for the one that’s leaving. Everyone’s having a great time until…vomit. The going away girl throws up right there in the middle of the bar. People scattered like drunk people when the lights come up at last call and they realize they’d been dancing with an ugly all night. And thus, the party was over. A few of us went back to a friend’s apartment and hung out for a little while but the buzz was pretty much killed. I got home around 3am and ate Advil like candy all day on Saturday. For some reason, I had a mega-headache that wouldn’t go away.