I think I'm too sensitive sometimes. I mean, by gender, I'm already predisposed to a certain amount of sensitivity. But couple that with the fact that I'm a Pisces (which by the way, I don't get all wrapped up in astrology or that kind of stuff, but I do find that certain characteristics of people's "signs" are true, whether it just be a self-fulfilling prophecy or something other), and you can run across a very sensitive girl at times. Take for instance, this weekend.
Friday night, I went to dinner with my family. As it happened, only the women were able to come to dinner, so it was me, my mother, my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousin, who is my age and we grew up like sisters. We were having a good time together, because rarely do we get to have a "girl's dinner", and my mom was discussing my sister's upcoming wedding - the planning that's involved, the arrangements, the showers, the registry, etc. Now, as I've alluded to in my past posts, this wedding has been somewhat of a strain on me. Not only am I not very fond of my sister's choice of husband, but also, the fact that my younger sister's getting married before me bugs me. Anyway, all of the sudden, my grandmother looks at me and says in her gentille Southern accent, "Well, Kara, see what all you're missing out on?"
Now, I know my grandmother didn't mean to hurt my feelings. But she did. As if I was supposed to go, "Ohhh, so THIS is what I'm missing out on!? Well, now that I KNOW what's involved when you get married, well, let me see if the waiter's available and we can begin planning mine immediately. Thank goodness you're around to point out the fact that I'm not, that I'm 'missing out', and with my new-found understanding, I'll just take whoever shows up next and expresses any kind of interest in me. What would I have done without you, grandmother?"
But instead of spouting off something ugly and disrespectful in my defense as my blood started to boil and tears began to well up in my eyes, I just darted my cold, intense eyes at her in a flash, then, disgruntled, looked down at my salad and shoved a mouthful of lettuce and croutons in my mouth to keep quiet. The table fell silent, as no one knew what to say to make the situation any easier. Grandmother, of course, was oblivious.
Ok, so maybe I shouldn't have taken it so hard. She's 80, afterall, and when you get that old, crap just comes out of your mouth without thinking. So maybe I shouldn't have been so sensitive about the situation, but I can't help it. I can't help but feel a certain amount of uneasiness, and a certain amount of pressure, that I'll be the only one not married. I am, afterall, a girl.
5 comments:
My junior sister is getting married too. Don't take it personally, the older people get, the less tactful they get.
You grandmother comes from a different age and a different set of ideals. She'd have you think you were an old maid at 28. Good grief!!! Best to ignore her as you did. You handled yourself well!
I know how that feels, not when it comes to weddings and getting married, but when it comes to babies.
Every year, there's a new crop of tow-headed little ones added to my Dad's side of the family, and every year, my grandmother (who is also in her 80s) says something completely tactless to me and the other misfit cousin who hasn't propagated yet.
It sucks, but you get used to it.
Sheesh, you old geezer-ette...there are *tons* of things worse than not being married... being married and wishing you weren't, for one!
You're "weaker sex" postulates don't jibe with my experience. Sure, "girls" sometimes react with emotion more quickly, but they have more mental stamina. In a few days this will scab over, and you will be tougher. Mr. Right is there if you want to find him, just don't try too hard.
Besides, what do you need one of us for? We'll only leave underwear in the corner, refuse to buy you hygiene products, and lift our feet while you vacuum.
But the whole standing up for you, playing with your babies, and genital fit thing is pretty cool.
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