So There I Was, The Blond Bombshell of The Entire Trailer Park!

Previously I had said that I had some stories from events that happened this week. Very long story short, I found myself at a baby shower held at the community center of a trailer park in northeast Georgia (the happy couple just got married in November and she's due end of March - you do the math. Oh, and yes, they both now know each other's eye color, thanks for asking). Try not to be jealous, we can't all be invited to events like these. Some people get to go to the Oscars, I was blessed with this invitation. At any rate, I went to this thing with my mom and sister, however, my dad dropped us off because he didn't want our car to be broken into while we were inside. Inside the trailer park community center (essentially a double wide on some bricks) was everything you could have hoped for and more. Let me start off with saying that I was the thinnest girl there by about 200 pounds, and I'm no string bean. Talk about a boost to the 'ol self-confidence! Secondly, you would have thought that I had dressed for the Oscars because my tan slacks and black sweater were WAY overdressed compared to the John Deere tractor t shirts and sweatpants. And I had a sneaky suspicion that something was missing from my outfit and then I figured it out...oh yeah, a baby attached to my hip! Every one of these women, either 16 or 45, had a baby attached at the hip like it was the latest accessory. Then we proceeded to play the typical ridiculously cheesy baby shower games that everyone hates, yet everyone is subjected to. Including, and this one was a new one for me, one called "Sniff the Diaper." With this game, they proceeded to pass around 3 diapers with a melted chocolate candy bar inside and we were instructed to sniff the diaper, look inside, and guess what kind of candy bar it was. One was even a snickers bar and I'll leave the peanut visual up to you. Ewww! As the fun was wrapping up, and oh, how much fun we surely did have, the men that belong to these women started to show up to pick them up (there's only one car per household apparently, or maybe they too, did not want their cars broken into). One man, Cletis, who apparently was lovingly nicknamed Bubba because that's MUCH better than Cletis, bent over to pick up one of his kids and I saw a whole lot more of Cletis, or Bubba, than I EVER EVER wanted to see. Then I got to hear a story from the mother to be about some of the parties at the trailer park and found out that drunk men peeing on couches is somewhat of a rampant problem. Now, don't get me wrong, I've been to a good many wild and crazy parties at the University of Alabama (hey, we weren't voted one of the top 10 party schools by Playboy for nothing), but I can honestly say that I've never either been or heard about a party where there was a peeing on the couch problem. Couches in the pool? Yes. Couches thrown out the 2nd floor window? Yes. Couches hoisted up on shoulders for a "Roman Style" ride around the party? Yes. Peeing on the couch? NO. The best part about it was getting to hear the trailer park soap opera of a girl named Mandy. Mandy is married, yet living with another man, and even better still, has recently given birth to a new baby boy that is neither her husband's nor live in boyfriend's child. Well, I guess she needed a new accessory for the shower. Now, how in the world these women get 1 man to chase after them, let alone 3, is a mystery locked up never to be known. Oh, and to top it off, have you ever had the choice of hot or mild chicken wings at a baby shower? I guess the long and short of it is, if you ever need an instant boost to your self-esteem, give me a call and I'll give you directions. Whatever you're dealing with in your life couldn't possibly beat a community with a severe weight, plumber's crack, poop-smelling, couch peeing, problem. Best of luck to the second generation currently being popped out. I wonder if blond, brown, or red hair will be "in" next year. Whichever, they better get busy because we're aleady in March and it'll take 9 months to get next year's hip addition.