I'm the girl that tries to do the right thing. Even in my youth. The one that tries to be the responsible one. Tries to be the good girl. I'm the hardworker, the volunteer that helps others, the one you know you can count on. Dependable. Reliable. Usually makes smart decisions - safe decisions. Dates the responsible men (when I date that is). Works the reponsible job. Stable. Conservative. Modest. Friendly. Complacent. Peacekeeper. Avoids conflict. I attribute it to being the first born in my family. First borns typically have to grow up a bit faster to take care of our younger siblings. At least that's how I see it, anyway.
Sometimes though, I just want to be bad. I want to be irresponsible. I want to do what's right for me at the time instead of what's right for my future, or what other people tell me is right for me. I want to make dumb decisions and get away with it. I want to skip work and not call in or feel guilty about it. I want to be a waitress in the Florida Keys with a college degree and not care. I want to waste money in rent on an apartment in the city instead of make money by owning a house in the suburbs. I want to pick up and go somewhere without one piece of luggage or a whole lot of money and be confident in knowing that I'll make it work out. I want to date the fearless boy and not disapprove of his actions or be afraid to be just as fearless. I want to go on a $1000 shopping spree and love every article of clothing and every shoe that I bring home and not worry that that money was supposed to go to my bills instead. I want to cancel meetings and not turn in presentations...ever. I want to stand up to those that I shrink from. I want to stay up or out as long as I want to and not be worried that I won't be fresh for work. I want to be flighty and everyone just accept that that's just how I am.
Anyone else ever feel the same way? Anyone else want to join me?
No comments:
Post a Comment