Gobble Goodness

I'm so excited! I just signed up to volunteer on Thanksgiving morning for the "Gobble Jog" 5k and 10k race benefiting MUST Ministries. http://gobblejog.org/ I've been meaning to give some of my time back, and now that work has settled down a bit (for now), I think MUST Ministries will be a perfect opportunity. The Christian-based organization does some really fantastic things for the community and beyond. I'll be signing in race day registrants, and I'm REALLY looking forward to it. Hopefully this opportunity will be first of many that I can help MUST Ministries with!!

Possibilitarian

My mom sent this to me today for Columbus Day, and I really took it to heart. Not sure where she got it from, so I can't reference it unfortunately, but wanted to keep it on my blog to refer back to from time to time.

Open to See

"'Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there.' -Norman Vincent Peale

Today is the day acknowledged as the one on which Christopher Columbus set foot in the Americas. When Columbus's three ships arrived in the Bahamas, a fascinating phenomenon occurred: While his ships were anchored at a distance offshore, because the vessels were not in the natives' known reality, the people did not see them for quite a while. One day a shaman, whose mind was open to realities beyond the obvious, saw the ships; and when he told his people about them, they saw them for the first time.

There are realities available to you that you do not see because you are unfamiliar with them or do not believe they are there. You might search a room for your car keys and not find them because you believe you left them someplace else. You may pass over the spot several times and overlook the keys even though they are in plain sight. When you call a family member over to help you find them, the other person sees them instantly. That person found them because he or she did not expect them to not be there.

Reality is not limited in any way, except in your expectations and beliefs. If you sense that there may be more to life than the world you are seeing, the first step is to open your mind to the possibility that there be more. The second step is to quit arguing for why things are the way they are, or resisting or complaining about what is. 'What is' is highly subjective, greater than your familiar world, and available if you are open to seeing and claiming it.

There may be ships offshore that can deliver the good you have been seeking.

How might you be sustaining an unwanted reality by focusing on it?
How might you experience a more satisfying reality by being open to it?

I lift up my eyes to see what is available to me, and I claim it now."

Double Rainbows for Allye

Almost 1am and once again tonight, I'm having trouble falling asleep. I go through phases when this happens. Not exactly sure what triggers it, but perhaps it has something to do with the millions of thoughts bouncing around my head like a pinball machine. As it turned out, it ended up being a tough day.

On my way home tonight, I was blessed with the magnificent sight of a double rainbow. It was so vibrant and awe-inspiring that I immediately said a prayer thanking God for the wonderful gift of such beauty. Little did I know that it would be a sign of what was before me this evening. It would end up being the Rainbow Bridge masterfully laid out to cross my sweet cat, Allye, home to her forever resting place.

When I got home from work and went to feed Darby and Allye, I noticed Allye was really lethargic and unresponsive. I picked her up and put her next to her food that normally she is insane about, and she jumped back down and laid down again. I knew something was wrong. She had been sick for about a year now, so I've been expecting this day to come, but it never makes it any easier. I picked her up and saw such a vacant stare, that I knew tonight was the night that I had to make the difficult decision that I had been dreading. They say that animals will let you know when it's time, and tonight was a testament to that. I ended up calling my parents (who by the way were very attached to her after she lived with them while I was in college) to let them know that I thought I needed to take her to the vet. Not wanting me to go through it alone, they offered to come over to pick me up and support me through the decision to put her down. I can't thank them enough. As independent as I am, I'm sure that I would not have been able to do it by myself. Sometimes you need someone by your side.

She's at peace now, and although tears stream down my face at her loss, I, too, have a sense of peace that she is no longer suffering, no longer sick, and no longer struggling in her old age. She was a great cat that essentially watched me grow up over the past 17 years. She met her fair share of men that I dated, while doing homework, she slept on her fair share of high school and college books, and she kept me great company after I moved into my first home all alone. She will forever hold a special place in my heart.

The Lord couldn't have created a more beautiful Rainbow for her to cross over on. Even in hindsight tonight, I continue to be thankful for His gift.

Stolen Time

This was the weekend that my niece, Vivienne (Vivi), was supposed to be born. Her due date was September 23rd. However, the Lord blessed our family with this sweet little girl four weeks early on August 27th instead. Essentially, we got a month of extra time with my precious niece, and I've been in heaven holding, kissing, hugging, and loving on her! We like to think that she came early because she didn't want to miss the season opener Alabama game, ha! Whatever the reason, welcome to the world my sweet little angel. I LOVE being your aunt and look forward to many, many years of loving you.

Chattanooga Choke

So the score, for those keeping score, is eHarmony 2; Kara 0. I went out on my second eHarmony date last Saturday and this is my story...
Wesley and I were connected on eHarmony last Tuesday. We spent Tuesday night going through the marathon "communication process" and finally got to free-style email around 11pm. We had really great email chemistry, so I gave him my number. He called me the next night and we talked for a few hours. The next day, we texted on and off all day, and then we talked for several more hours Thursday night. He was already becoming a little smothering, but it was during that conversation that I suggested that we meet that weekend because I really didn't want to spend any more time talking on the phone with someone that I may not connect with in person. He lives in Knoxville, and I'm in Atlanta, so I suggested we meet in Chattanooga - about a 1.5 hr drive for each of us. He agreed. And Saturday, I went to the salon and had my hair cut and highlighted. I went to the nail place for a manicure and pedicure. I looked hot. I felt great. I was on my way to Chattanooga.

Arriving in Chattanooga, I found out that there was some sort of festival going on, and we couldn't meet up where we had planned. After some driving around, texting with one another, and a phone call, we finally met up at a Suntrust bank parking lot. Upon his arrival, I found out why he was not open mouth smiling in any of his pictures on eHarmony. His teeth were terrible - not only were they jacked up more than I-75 at 14th Street but they were a strange yellow color. Ugh. Strike 1. He went in for a hug and held me longer than I was comfortable with when I first hug a stranger. And I can't be sure, but I think he tried to go in for a kiss. Didn't.Happen. In the parking lot we're trying to figure out a plan and I mentioned that I didn't want to leave my car there. I suggested that we both drive back into the city and pay the $5 event parking fee and then figure out where to go for dinner. He then proceeded to tell me that he couldn't pay for parking because he was mugged on the way down. WTH? Apparently he was held up by knife point, gave away all of his cash (they didn't want his credit or debit card?!), and he didn't bother to file a police report. Whatever. Strike 2. I suggested that he just get more cash out because we were, afterall, in a bank parking lot. Instead, he suggested that he leave his truck there and that we just take my car back into the city. Strike 3, and we haven't even been together 10 minutes at this point. I was already ready to go home. I end up driving him around Chattanooga as we try to find somewhere to eat dinner, and I finally got fed up and paid the $5 event parking just to get the show on the road. We ate at a local tavern, and when the bill came, I coyly asked "so what's my damage" (my standard first date line, fully anticipating that my date wouldn't take me up on it). He said, "probably around $15". Foul ball. I turned over my debit card, signed the receipt, and ducked into the ladies room to text my sister and friends about how miserable this date was.

After dinner, we got back into my car and I drove him back to his. At his car, he asked if I wanted to go for an ice cream that was just across the street. I really didn't want to go, but wasn't sure how to get out of it so soon. We had only been together for about 45 minutes at this point, and we both came a long way, so I just sucked it up. We tried to leave both of our cars in the bank parking lot, but they threatened to tow our cars if we left them. So, he suggested that we park around the back of the ice cream place. We both climbed into our respective vehicles and drove around and around in circles searching for a parking space. It was at this point that I was tempted to leave him and get back on the highway headed back south. On second thought, I didn't want karma to catch up with me, so i found a parking spot and met him at the ice cream shop. I paid for my ice cream, of course. We sat near the front entrance window and watched people walk by. He asked me how I thought the date was going. I think he was into it! I, on the other hand, was far from it. Fighting the urge to blurt out, "Not Good!", I was able to respond with "ummm, it's ok". He seemed surprise, and then he got kind of mad. I told him that I needed to get back home, and he walked me to my car. I gave him a half-hearted hug, and I thankfully, was on my back home. He texted me when he got home to say he was home and enjoyed spending time with me. I texted him back that I was home. And I didn't hear from him for 2 days, so I figured he got the hint.

Until today. I got a text from him tonight that said, "So I am guessing that you didn't feel any chemistry." Roger that. Unfortunately, I had a miserable day at work, and was feeling a bit fiesty, so I fired a text back that said, "Not so much. Not a fan of men that lie and I have a hard time believing your "mugging" story. Best of luck with your relationship search." Well that made him mad. He texted me back with, "You think that was a lie? Sadly no, a man came up and asked me for some money to get his family home, when I refused he pulled a knife. I handed him the money I had. I thought you meant me lying about your hair looking good. Good luck in your search." I typed the following text back, but luckily my sister called just as I was about to hit send and talked me out of it: "Congratulations on being my newest answer to the what's your worst date ever question. I should have left the date before ice cream as I contemplated." She persuaded me not to stoop to his level. Still wish I sent that text.

And the bad date collection of stories continues.

Wine So I Don't Whine

Had a really bad day at work. Oh, who am I kidding. I've had a really bad past three months at work. Ever since I got my "promotion", which is really just a lateral move, same pay, more direct reports, and more responsibility. Not sure where the "promotion" is, but I've been told that that's what it is. One day I'll go into details about all of the drama and misery that is "work" these days. But not tonight. No, not tonight. Mostly because although I'm not a big drinker, I have had a whole bottle of wine tonight. And typing isn't as easy as it usually is. And yes, perhaps I'm drunk. And I've had to use the backspace key several, several times as I try to type this short paragraph. So a full on gab session about how much I hate my boss and her boss is out of the question, at least tonight. But I feel good right here, right now, regardless of the stress ball that is my current life. Cheers!

Grace's Birth Day

My best friend and college roommate had her sweet little girl, and my "niece", last Friday, 5/14. Her name is Grace Elizabeth and she is precious. It was a great dry run to prepare for my real niece, Vivienne, that should be arriving late September. Welcome to the world little angel.

Dud Alert

Talked to my first "match" from eHarmony tonight. He didn't make me laugh in the entire 30 minutes we were on the phone. Kind of a boring conversation. Doesn't seem like that's going to be a good fit. Sigh. Maybe I shouldn't have signed up for this. Guess I still kind of hope that Mr. Right will get a flat tire in front of my house, his cell phone will be dead, and he will knock on my door to call AAA. I'll be sitting on the couch waiting.

Irony

I just received my first seven matches from eHarmony and out of the thousands of men in a 120 mile radius that could be a match for me, one of the first seven matches was a guy I dated about five years ago. So ironic. I had even posted about him back in the day: Simply Decadent and Sinful.

Here We Go Again

So after weeks of stalling and making excuses for not getting back in the saddle, I took the plunge today and signed up on eHarmony. I've done it before without much success, but I have to start somewhere. Not sure I'm ready for Match.com - that's more of a "bar" type setting where more men seem to be looking for hook-ups than anything more serious. So, I thought I'd take it slow and go the eHarmony route, hoping to be matched with someone that shares my values, ideals, and interests. I even expanded my "search" radius to 120 miles in the hopes of finding a good, solid, smart Southern man. Hey, it worked for one of my co-workers so maybe, just maybe, this time will work for me. At the very least, I'm out there again, instead of solely relying on Mr. Right to knock on my door while I sit on my couch every night after work! Wish me luck. At the very least, I'll have some interesting blog topics from my continued dating antics!

Someday by Alan Jackson

This just about sums it all up.

She looked me in the eye and said it's over
I can't take this heartache anymore
She said don't tell me lies and try to please me
I've heard it all so many times before

And I took her by the arm and said don't leave me
There's nothin' in this world I wouldn't do
Just give me time I'll be the man you've needed
She said I wish that I could take that for the truth

And I said someday
I'll get my life straight
And she said it's too late
What's done is done
And I told her someday
She said I can't wait
'Cause sometimes someday just never comes

She said all I've ever wanted was to love you
And somewhere deep inside me I still do
But now I think it's time I stopped believin'
'Cause I'm never gonna see a change in you

And I said someday
I'll get my life straight
And she said it's too late
What's done is done
And I told her someday
She said I can't wait
'Cause sometimes someday just never comes
Sometimes someday just never comes

Heartbreak

So, after two and a half years, the relationship dissolved on March 9, 2010. I was ready to get married and as it turns out, he wasn't able to yet. And he took Gypsy. It's been really hard, and although I trust that God has plan for my life, it's really hard to understand it all.

We went ring shopping this time last year and I picked out two rings that I would love. He told me last year that he felt that an engagement would come within 4 months. Four months came and went, along with his surprise trip that I planned to Boston for his 40th birthday to see Red Sox vs. Yankees at Fenway, and our 2 year anniversary, but no engagement. We went to the mountains in November, when I asked him again when we might get engaged and he agreed that it would be by my birthday (March 3rd). So, with every fall holiday, I held my breath thinking this was going to be it. By Christmas I just knew it was coming. Christmas, New Years, and Valentines Day came and went. Two weeks before my birthday, we had a heart to heart conversation and I learned that we weren't any closer to an engagement then we were a year ago. He had some hang ups about commitment due to divorce in his family, and the disappointment crushed me. He moved out a few days later, and we officially broke up a week later. We haven't spoken since. And now, I'm 33 years old without any marriage, let alone family, in sight. And it sucks. And the disappointment can at times be unbearable. I'm now trying to gather the pieces and re-enter the dating world.

I just don't understand why my life has to be so hard.

The Start of Something Great

Last night was the first of a few different and exciting things. To start, it was the first game of the 2007 Alabama football season. Any of you that know me at all, or have even read archived posts, know what a huge fan I am. I have been waiting 9 months for this day, and luckily, it lived up to my high expectations. We played Western Carolina, albeit not a huge challenge, but nonetheless, a great chance to showcase the '07 team. It was a decidedly large victory, in fact, a 52 to 6 win. The Bama boys held them to just 2 field goals. I was very impressed with the condition of the players, the sharpness in the plays, the running game, the passing game, and the organized play-calling. Overall, a very exciting start to the season!

"Darren Mustin and Rolando McClain knock the helmet off of Western Carolina running back Willie Harper."

I would be amiss if I didn't recognize one of the biggest impacts to our team: the hiring of Nick Saban as head coach. To say that this has brought about a renewed excitement in the legacy of the program is an understatement. Although he has taken some heat for his move into our head coach position out of the Miami Dolphin gig, and for the fact that he is now the highest paid college football coach, the anticipation of what he brings to the table is insurmountable. He's a good fit for our team and has the personality to respect the tradition of the past while creating an era of his own at the University.


And of course, the fans are even more supportive of the team and new coaching staff than ever before. I was fortunate to be apart of the record-setting 92,000 crowd that showed up for the Spring team scrimmage in April - a game that pits Alabama player against Alabama player to showcase the hard work of spring training. And, the fans once again did not disappoint at this first game of the season, showing up in droves and packing the stadium yet again to capacity. This time, for a game that counts.


Roll Tide.

I Love Him!

Just an updated picture of my boy. I do love him.

I Want Off The Ride

When is it my turn to get off the dating train? I'm so tired of riding it, it's not even funny. In fact, I don't even feel like I'm riding anymore, rather being pulled along behind the train nowadays. Scrapes and bruises, all torn and tattered. Where is my stop? What sleepy little town can I settle down in to call home - to get out of the turmoil and the drama? Fifteen years and too many dates to count, when can I just find 'the one' and be done?

My Birthday Montage

The March Forward

I know from my last post, some were confused that I'd already celebrated my 30th birthday, but not so. The car was ordered as a birthday gift to myself (still three weeks away from it arriving here, and me and the salesman didn't work out), but in actuality, this Saturday is the big day. I've officially got exactly 5 more days to enjoy(?) my twenties. The reality is that I'm really looking forward to the change. I've always been a bit mature for my age, and the continuous climb up the corporate ladder hasn't really left me feeling like a twenty-something anyway.

Thirty.

From a career perspective I'm satisfied with where I'm at at this milestone. But to be honest, not exactly where I thought I'd be in my personal life. Since I worked so hard to grow the career girl in my twenties, maybe I'll dedicate this next decade to fulfilling the softer side of Kara. Volunteer. Give back. Show up on Sunday more consistently. Nurture my spirit instead of cracking the whip. Relax the pressures I tend to bestow upon myself. Breathe.

Happy Valenthirtieth Birthday To Me

EDIT: Actual photo of purchase

Check out what I'm buying myself for Valentine's Day/my 30th birthday. I can hardly wait!! I ordered the SLT-1 in Red Jewel with ebony leather and the dual-sunroof. It should come in around mid-March, completely missing Valentine's Day AND my birthday, but it will be worth it. I figure that I have no one else to spoil me, so I should do a great job of spoiling myself! The SUV order also came with a date with my salesman...I'll keep you updated on how that turns out. We met for drinks Wednesday night and had a GREAT time. We've talked a few other times since then on the phone, but no 2nd date as of yet. I don't think he's "the one", but he sure is a good kisser! ;-)

EDIT: We dated for three weeks and then never really talked again.

Always a Bridesmaid

So I just purchased the 7th bridesmaid dress of my life. This one is "celedon", otherwise known as light green. Luckily, she changed her choice to celedon before we had to order, or else I'd be wearing a pinapple-colored dress down the aisle! Geesh!! The funny thing is, it's the exact same dress I had to wear for my sister's wedding last year, so I'm having to shell out another $200 for the same dress but in a different color. Too bad they can't just dye them or something! And it's another $200 dress that I'll only wear once. But, it's for my best friend from high school who's getting married in June, so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! I'm happy for her. Her fiance is a really sweet and thoughtful guy, and they've been dating for about 5 years, so it's probably time that they go ahead and tie the knot. Now, for me, it'll be eating celery and trying to get a tan before June so I'll look good in the celedon dress.

The Married Magnet

So in my hiatus from blogging, I've neglected to tell the tale of my summer of married men. Somehow I've become dubbed in my friend group as the married man magnet. It's with good reason, so I can't really blame them for the stigma. Let me explain...

Married man #1: The guy at work.
I had a meeting with a guy at work to discuss marketing and how to integrate with communications and operations within the company. The guy I met with was young, tall, and fairly attractive, charming and funny - characteristics that as a package, are decidedly missing from the men in my company, so it came as a surprise. I noticed he wasn't wearing a ring, but really was treating the meeting as nothing more than a business conversation, until I got a fairly flirtatious email from him after our initial meeting. This started a fun, witty email banter back and forth full of flirtations and laughs, and ultimately ended up in a lunch date for later that week. I was excited! The day of the date, he asked me if I could drive. He made up the excuse that he couldn't drive because he had carpooled that day and didn't have his car. Not really thinking that much of it at this point, I agreed (although not thrilled about it. I'm kind of old school in that I like the guy to drive, especially on a first date). So we met in the lobby and I drove us to the restaurant where we had a really great lunch with fun conversation. I was having a blast, and still very excited about this prospect. But, as we continued to email back and forth for a few days afterward, things started to not add up to me. He would never ask me for my number, which I thought was odd, was very vague about what part of town he lived in, and wasn't really asking me out for a second date. However the flirtations over email were stronger than ever, and he'd frequently stop by my desk to say hi. That, as it turns out, was his fatal mistake.

One day while at my desk, one of my coworkers who had previously worked with him stopped to say hi. In later passing conversation with my coworker, I found out that this guy was married with a brand new baby! I was disappointed and sad all at the same time. I felt horrible that I had gone on a date with him, but how was I to know?!! I emailed him and asked him point blank if he was married. His reply? "Well, it's complicated." Um, ladies and gentlemen, this is a yes or no question. How freakin' complicated could it possibly be? So I pressed him about it again and his response was, "let's just say we'll always only be friends." FRIENDS? That's certainly NOT the way he had been treating me prior to being busted! Needless to say I blasted him over email about how he should have more respect for his wife and child (he must've had a car seat in his car which is probably why he didn't want me to drive that day), and that I wasn't interested in being his friend at this point. To this day, I always seem to find myself inadvertently running into him in the hallways at work, and I wish you could see the blood drain from his face when he sees me. I'm like his worst nightmare, unintentionally haunting him. That's what he gets for trying to be a jerk at work. Smart guy, yeah, really smart...

Married man #2: The stranger at lunch.
So a few months after the work guy, I was having lunch with one of my friends at a local mexican restaurant, minding my own business, when this guy walks up to the table and places a piece of folded paper down next to me. He said, "I think you dropped this on the floor." I was thoroughly confused because I didn't have my purse with me, and was almost positive the piece of paper wasn't mine, but before I could register my thoughts, he had turned around and walked off. So, I picked up the paper, unfolded it and read, "I think you're hot. You're body type is smokin' to me. Would love to get to know you better. If you're interested, call me." and he left his name and number. My face burned with blushing cheeks as my friend made a big fuss about the note. She kept asking if I was going to call, and my first instinct was no. However, we had just been in a conversation about how guys don't have the nerve or confidence to approach women to ask them out, and I thought, here I am complaining about guys not doing it, and when they do, I don't follow through. So I waited a few days keeping the note, and then decided to call. We had a great conversation, I was laughing and we were relating to each other. I knew that if he asked, that I would probably meet up with him for a date. He was 36, had a great job, was very personable, and seemed to be a good guy. Until about 20 minutes into the conversation, he drops the bomb: "hey, before we get too far into this, I want to be completely honest with you. No, I'm not gay [nervous laughter], I'm a happily married man with 2 kids. I don't know what you're looking for in terms of a relationship, but if you're just looking for a friend with benefits type of thing, I'd love to meet up with you sometime." It was one of those moments when the record scratches, the music stops, and the jaw drops. I was like, "what!?" I immediately told him I wasn't interested, and that if he were happily married he wouldn't be dropping notes at a stranger's table at lunch trying to sleep with her. I also mentioned that I thought he needed therapy. His response? "Well, if you change your mind, you have my number and I'd love to hear back from you." I told him that he'd never hear from me, that I wouldn't bother. I also tried to search online for his home address because I was going to mail the letter to his "happily married wife" so she's know what her husband was up to, but wasn't able to find it. That's too bad, I think she ought to know she married a jerk.

Frustrated and discouraged with the men that I've met lately? You bet. Can you blame me? And so it goes...