So now I’m the last single grandchild standing. My sister’s wedding went very well and she’s off relaxing in the Caribbean somewhere as the new Mrs. “P”. I just thought I’d share a few experiences from this weekend:
"This wedding was brought to you by Pepto Bismal”
I’m not a big fan of the color pink. You know I really must love my sister when I actually pay the manicurist/pedicurist to paint cotton candy pink nail polish on my nails and toes to go with my fuschea bridesmaid dress and coordinated light pink rose bouquet. Molly Ringwold, eat your heart out (for those under the age of 25 that don’t know who Molly Ringwold is, she did several movies in the 80s, before you were born, including one called ‘Pretty in Pink’).
I Spanx-ed ‘em
Squeezing into a pair of Spanx “Power Panties” should be considered for an Olympic event. Seriously. Friday was the qualifying round as I pushed and pulled to get them on for my rehearsal dinner dress, and Saturday was the finals as I tackled getting them on under my bridesmaid dress. Score ended up Kara 2, Spanx 0 - but it was a very close match-up. Very close. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to pull it off. Literally.
The Sun and My Moon
I didn’t realize when I made the appointment that achieving a spray tan would mean a one on one encounter with me in my undies and a stranger with an airbrush gun standing uncomfortably in a small room together. This may be one of the very few times in my life that I wish I wore full-back granny panties.
Light My Fire
When my sister and her husband went to light the unity candle, initially, the candle did light. But by the time they both got their respective candles back in the candle holders, the flame had gone out. They stood there, looked at each other and shrugged as if to say, “oh well.” I had to tap her on the arm and whispered, “light the candle again.” The Minister, who happens to be my cousin’s husband, said, “as you can see, marriage takes a little effort and some support from family…”
Penny For Your Thoughts
If I had a penny for everyone at the wedding that asked when they could come back for my wedding, or when I was going to get married, well, I’d be a rich gir…err…well, I’d at least have enough money for a Coke. Biggie-sized. I also heard every cliché about singledom that I’ve ever known. Over and over I had to hear phrases such as, “the right one’s out there”, “don’t settle”, “it’ll happen when you least expect it”, and my personal favorite, “you’ve got plenty of time”. People, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. How do you know I have “plenty of time”?
But seriously, I’m really not as much of a cynic as I sound. I’m really mostly joking about this. I do believe in love and in marriage and in romance. In fact, someone gave me a whole new perspective on the subject this week. He said, weddings are basically standing in front of important friends and family and admitting to all of them that this guy (or girl) that you’re marrying is the best you could do. I’d never quite thought about it like that, but it’s true. I may or may not agree that the man my sister chose is the “best” she could do, but in all honesty, I don’t know that any one would have ever been good enough for her anyway. If she thinks he’s the best, then I truly wish her happiness. After such a beautiful wedding, I think she’s off to a good start.
2 comments:
Kara, don't dwell on this. If you're happy as you are, all those well-meaning but nosy people can go and take a shite.
I had a similar problem a few years ago. All my cousins (and one of my sisters) were having babies left, right and centre, but Esso and I just weren't. One of my cousins actually took me aside and asked me when we were going to "contribute." (His word, not mine) If it happens, it happens.
Besides, you have somebody--you.
I think women could come up with a lot of Olympic events: getting out of a wet "powersuit" bathing suit; doing up the crotch snaps on bodysuits; putting on mascara while talking on the phone.
Great post Kara, but then I did not expect anything less from you.
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